By: Denny

Perhaps you’ve heard this expression spoken by someone to another person or even had it spoken to you. You may have seen similar messages such as: “You break it, you buy it”, “You break it, you own it”, written on a sign in a retail store, flea market, or garage sale. It’s usually placed near items that are fragile. Another saying is: “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it”. The first sayings aren’t so much about breaking and fixing as they are about personal responsibility and accountability for your actions. The last quote basically implies that everything is working just fine, so don’t mess with it. Sometimes in an effort to make improvements, we make things worse. Some physical items can be fixed or replaced quite easily, while others are irreplaceable because they are rare or one of a kind. In the final analysis it’s all just stuff. As I get older I’ve come to realize that the stuff I used to think was important and valuable, isn’t anymore.

The hardest thing to fix is not some object that can be bought and sold regardless of size, value, or usefulness, but a broken relationship. It seems more and more lately I hear or know someone whose family member or once close friend hasn’t spoken to them in years. Something was said or done that caused disagreement, hurt, offense, misunderstanding, or someone just didn’t get their own way. In a heated moment words may have been spoken, or actions misinterpreted . The relationship was broken, and usually by the person who was offended, blew up in anger, and walked away. It’s easier to break a relationship with someone you haven’t invested much time with. Often times it’s just a matter of realizing you no longer have things in common. The relationship isn’t broken, it just fades away as you go in separate directions. You would still talk to them at Walmart if you met them while shopping. On the other hand, there may be someone you notice and really don’t want to talk to, so you avoid them. In the case of a family member, people may cut others off completely with “the silent” treatment. It’s often because they are harboring a grudge or unforgiveness towards another. The death and funeral of a mutual loved one may bring them together physically, but the rift between them remains. Pride is the biggest hindrance and roadblock toward mending a broken relationship. It needs to start with communication. If neither party is willing to initiate that, or if one is and the other refuses to talk, then those are the relationships hardest to fix and may remain broken for years or even a lifetime. For some people nothing you can say or do is good enough. No apology, asking for forgiveness, or trying to restore or make restitution will budge their hardened heart. It seems they like holding on to the offense and using it as leverage or a form of control to coerce the other person to meet their demands. It baffles me how anyone can act so indifferently towards another family member, be it parents or siblings. You broke it, you fix it. How many more years do you intend to waste and lose? You keep drinking the poison of avoidance and unforgiveness not realizing it’s killing you, not the other person. However, the ones you are shunning suffer also, as they wait for you to desire and move towards reconciliation. I’m speaking from personal experience in writing this. I have a brother who hasn’t spoken to me in 13 1/2 years simply over money and the way mom‘s estate was settled. ”And forgive us our trespasses (sins) as we forgive those who trespass (sin) against us.” (Matthew 6:12) That is part of the Lord’s Prayer which so many recite religiously out of wrote every Sunday in church, yet gloss over verse 15. “But if you do not forgive men their trespasses (sins), neither will your Heavenly Father forgive your trespasses (sins)”. This is one of those spiritual laws that applies to everyone whether you profess to be a Christian, agnostic, atheist, or just a common heathen.

When Adam and Eve sinned, they broke the relationship they had with God, thereby dragging all of future mankind right along with them. However, the good news is that God didn’t say to them, “You broke it, you fix it”, because that was impossible for them. Rather, In His grace and mercy He said, “You broke it, I’ll fix it.” That’s exactly what happened when Jesus died on the cross for our sins, fixing the broken relationship between us and God. There is only one stipulation; you must appropriate it by faith by believing and accepting Jesus Christ as your savior. There is no other fix, and no other way to get right with God. Romans 5:8 God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. 2 Corinthians 5: 19, 21 God was in Christ reconciling the world to Himself, not imputing their trespasses to them, and has committed to us the word of reconciliation. For He made Him who knew no sin to be sin for us, that we might become the righteousness of God in Him. Isaiah 1:18 “Come now let us reason together,” says the Lord, “Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be white as snow; though they are red like crimson, they shall be as wool.” God is ready, willing, and waiting for you to have that sit down talk about that broken relationship between you and Him that you keep putting off. As a result, you may find the desire and ability to fix those other broken relationships in your life.