reconciliation

You Broke It, You Fix It

By: Denny

Perhaps you’ve heard this expression spoken by someone to another person or even had it spoken to you. You may have seen similar messages such as: “You break it, you buy it”, “You break it, you own it”, written on a sign in a retail store, flea market, or garage sale. It’s usually placed near items that are fragile. Another saying is: “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it”. The first sayings aren’t so much about breaking and fixing as they are about personal responsibility and accountability for your actions. The last quote basically implies that everything is working just fine, so don’t mess with it. Sometimes in an effort to make improvements, we make things worse. Some physical items can be fixed or replaced quite easily, while others are irreplaceable because they are rare or one of a kind. In the final analysis it’s all just stuff. As I get older I’ve come to realize that the stuff I used to think was important and valuable, isn’t anymore.

The hardest thing to fix is not some object that can be bought and sold regardless of size, value, or usefulness, but a broken relationship. It seems more and more lately I hear or know someone whose family member or once close friend hasn’t spoken to them in years. Something was said or done that caused disagreement, hurt, offense, misunderstanding, or someone just didn’t get their own way. In a heated moment words may have been spoken, or actions misinterpreted . The relationship was broken, and usually by the person who was offended, blew up in anger, and walked away. It’s easier to break a relationship with someone you haven’t invested much time with. Often times it’s just a matter of realizing you no longer have things in common. The relationship isn’t broken, it just fades away as you go in separate directions. You would still talk to them at Walmart if you met them while shopping. On the other hand, there may be someone you notice and really don’t want to talk to, so you avoid them. In the case of a family member, people may cut others off completely with “the silent” treatment. It’s often because they are harboring a grudge or unforgiveness towards another. The death and funeral of a mutual loved one may bring them together physically, but the rift between them remains. Pride is the biggest hindrance and roadblock toward mending a broken relationship. It needs to start with communication. If neither party is willing to initiate that, or if one is and the other refuses to talk, then those are the relationships hardest to fix and may remain broken for years or even a lifetime. For some people nothing you can say or do is good enough. No apology, asking for forgiveness, or trying to restore or make restitution will budge their hardened heart. It seems they like holding on to the offense and using it as leverage or a form of control to coerce the other person to meet their demands. It baffles me how anyone can act so indifferently towards another family member, be it parents or siblings. You broke it, you fix it. How many more years do you intend to waste and lose? You keep drinking the poison of avoidance and unforgiveness not realizing it’s killing you, not the other person. However, the ones you are shunning suffer also, as they wait for you to desire and move towards reconciliation. I’m speaking from personal experience in writing this. I have a brother who hasn’t spoken to me in 13 1/2 years simply over money and the way mom‘s estate was settled. ”And forgive us our trespasses (sins) as we forgive those who trespass (sin) against us.” (Matthew 6:12) That is part of the Lord’s Prayer which so many recite religiously out of wrote every Sunday in church, yet gloss over verse 15. “But if you do not forgive men their trespasses (sins), neither will your Heavenly Father forgive your trespasses (sins)”. This is one of those spiritual laws that applies to everyone whether you profess to be a Christian, agnostic, atheist, or just a common heathen.

When Adam and Eve sinned, they broke the relationship they had with God, thereby dragging all of future mankind right along with them. However, the good news is that God didn’t say to them, “You broke it, you fix it”, because that was impossible for them. Rather, In His grace and mercy He said, “You broke it, I’ll fix it.” That’s exactly what happened when Jesus died on the cross for our sins, fixing the broken relationship between us and God. There is only one stipulation; you must appropriate it by faith by believing and accepting Jesus Christ as your savior. There is no other fix, and no other way to get right with God. Romans 5:8 God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. 2 Corinthians 5: 19, 21 God was in Christ reconciling the world to Himself, not imputing their trespasses to them, and has committed to us the word of reconciliation. For He made Him who knew no sin to be sin for us, that we might become the righteousness of God in Him. Isaiah 1:18 “Come now let us reason together,” says the Lord, “Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be white as snow; though they are red like crimson, they shall be as wool.” God is ready, willing, and waiting for you to have that sit down talk about that broken relationship between you and Him that you keep putting off. As a result, you may find the desire and ability to fix those other broken relationships in your life.

If God Sent a Christmas Card

By: Denny

It’s that time of year when organizations do their fundraisers. I think they plan it that way, because people are more in a giving mood between Thanksgiving and Christmas. The Salvation Army kettles and ringers have taken up their positions in various locations. Shareathons and telethons are on the radio and TV as well as commercials asking for donations towards a worthy and worthwhile cause. Some days all I get in the mail lately are flyers from political candidates criticizing the others and asking for support and money, which all end up in File 13. (trash) Many schools and churches do fundraising also to support their events. It’s hard to say “No thank you” when a cute little kid knocks on your door and asks you to buy something from a list or booklet of stuff which you hadn’t planned on or wouldn’t otherwise buy. The Girl Scouts used to go door to door taking orders for their cookies, but I don’t know if they do that anymore. When I was in Cub Scouts we sold boxed sets of greeting, occasional, and Christmas cards. That seems to be a thing of the past as many people don’t send cards as much as they used to. If they do, they just go buy a few cards from Walmart or Dollar Tree. Some people, and you know who you are, will still write the annual family autobiography letter detailing events from the past year and include it in a Christmas card or mail it by itself. Lately the trend is to send a postcard imprinted with a family photo and a line saying Merry Christmas or similar greeting. Facebook and other social media make it even easier, and you don’t even need to buy stamps. Within minutes you could post a picture and write your greeting and send it to all your friends, family, and anyone else who can see your Facebook page will get it with only one click of the mouse. Please don’t think that I’m belittling or not appreciative of receiving a Christmas or other special occasion cards. However, I consider it really thoughtful and personal when someone takes the time to write a short note to express their feelings and sentiments. That is what I look forward to seeing first, because it means so much to hear it from them, and it takes precedence over what’s preprinted on the card that somebody else got paid to write. Those are the words that warm my heart and that I will remember. Maybe it’s because I’m a writer, but my wife will tell you how I will often comment, “All they did was sign the card and didn’t write anything.” I may keep the card for a while, just so I don’t feel guilty about putting it in File 13 right away. We get one such card every year at Christmas from a family member who hasn’t spoken to me for 13 years. There was a breakdown in our relationship over what now doesn’t even matter and seems so insignificant, but remains a rift and a deal breaker for them. My attempt to reconcile the situation years ago was met with silence except for the annual “Merry Christmas” card which is empty of meaning and substance.

If God sent a Christmas card, what would it look like and what would He say?  Perhaps it would have a picture or artistic rendering of a Currier and Ives-like snow scene, kids pulling sleds, snowmen, sleigh rides, Santa Claus, reindeer, carolers, trees all decorated surrounded by presents piled high, people warming themselves by a fireplace, or shoppers looking through brightly decorated store windows. More appropriately it would surely depict a manger scene with a glowing Jesus surrounded by angels, shepherds, wise men, animals, and a star in the sky casting a heavenly light on everything.  All these images in their own way give us a special sentimental feeling and attachment to how we see, view, and enjoy Christmas. We also  busy ourselves with shopping to find the perfect gifts. We give in to our cravings to overeat and indulge our palates with all kinds of sweet desserts laden and smothered with chocolate. Christmas lights adorn our houses casting colorful prisms in the night sky. Christmas music is played and heard everywhere you go. As kids we were in Christmas plays at church that told the birth of Jesus which was fun. Even if we forgot our lines everyone in the audience knew the story and had a good time. It was especially embarrassing for parents if their kid waved and yelled, “Hi mom” from the stage when they were supposed to be a quiet sheep. Of course, that was some other kid, I would never do that. I was an angel. (Right now, I have 3 sisters who are laughing when they read this.)

If God sent a Christmas card, I imagine it to be quite simple. It would have a picture of the actual stable Jesus was born in which would look quite different from the picture we have in our minds. It would have a scratch and sniff area for added effect. Jesus would be laying in a very crude feed trough. At the top of the card would be written,  IT BEGINS. At the bottom would be the words, I gave the best gift I could. As you opened the card, on the left half would be one word in large letters at the top, MYSELF. Underneath that would be a picture of Jesus on the cross. Printed below it are the words, IT IS FINISHED. On the right half would be printed, I so loved you, (your name), that I gave my only Son, that if you believe in Him, you will not perish but have everlasting life. For I myself was in Jesus reconciling you to me. It would be a very large thick card because God’s word and personal letter to you, the Bible, would be included. He would simply sign it, I AM, which appears to be in red ink, but was written with the blood of Jesus. Admittedly, a card like that wouldn’t give you a warm fuzzy feeling, but God really isn’t into warm and fuzzy. He wants everyone to know that Christmas isn’t about what we’ve made it to be. At the very core of Christmas is God’s provision for us to be reconciled to Him. The 4th line in the song, Hark the Herald Angels Sing, is: God and sinners reconciled. The provision and pathway was made by God, being completed in Jesus, but it’s up to each individual to accept it and appropriate it for themselves. In other words, the gift really isn’t yours until you open it, and you open it by surrendering your life to Jesus Christ, the accomplished Son, not the babe in the manger.

In many ways the way we celebrate Christmas, and the condition of our hearts, is like sending God a Christmas card. We say and write the same cliched phrases like, Merry Christmas, Seasons Greetings, Happy Holidays, God bless you, Jesus is the Reason for the Season, Warm Christmas Wishes, and so on. Those in themselves aren’t bad and really do have special meaning and sincerity for those whose hearts are right with God. Offering our prayers, songs, and thanksgiving with joy, touches the heart of God. It must be to Him like getting a Christmas card with a personal added note. On the other hand, many are those who speak the same words and sing the same songs, but have never been reconciled to God. They are still holding on to the broken relationship which was caused by Adam and Eve when they sinned. You would never know it by looking at them, but God sees their hearts. How disappointing it must be to God to get the annual Christmas card with just a signature, and nothing else the rest of the year. Jesus was quoting Isaiah 29:13 when he spoke these words in Matthew 15:8, “These people draw near to me with their mouth, and honor me with their lips, but their heart is far from me.” Likewise, it must be equally disappointing to God when people aren’t reconciled to each other, especially those who claim to be Christians. Does God need to send you a Christmas card for you to know that?

I invite you to scroll through the titles in my menu and read the one called “The Gift”. It relates to Christmas and may touch your heart.