By: Denny

I do not have a degree in Psychology or anything else, nor have I read any books on child development. I’m not a so-called expert on this subject as so many are or claim to be. I’m just an old, road-weary, worn-down, retired truck driver expressing my thoughts on what I have observed and experienced in my life of 71 years. I believe there is a God-placed longing and desire in the soul of every person that their life matters and counts for something, and it begins when we are born. Granted, a baby knows nothing of the elusive search for significance nor can they. They only cry when hungry and need their diaper changed, but the most important need they have is to know they are loved and accepted. Those first few formative bonding years establishes the foundation that will determine where their search for significance will take them. They must first be rooted and grounded firmly in that their significance is found in who they are and not what they can do or what others say or think of them. The three greatest things a parent can give their children is their love, acceptance, and approval. If the parents don’t give it, the kids will find it elsewhere. Sadly, their search for significance may lead them down the wrong path. Far too many parents these days fail miserably from the very beginning. They neglect their responsibility and assume that without Godly moral guidance the kid will find their proper significance on their own. In other words, they don’t want to interfere but just want to be their friend and let them be and do whatever they want to. Worse yet is when they allow others, who are so mixed up in who they are, to input their values into their children. Parents must actively affirm early on that their boys are boys, and their girls are girls. If in doubt, check their plumbing again, but don’t allow them or anyone else to change it. If kids were more confident and secure in who they are, we wouldn’t have or be dealing with all this sexual gender identity crisis and nonsense going on today. Thanks to public schools, our government, and news media, we are forced to accept the lies they are promoting, approving, and propagating. However, you can’t make us all believe or bow down to your twisted idyllic agenda. The following is an excerpt from a previous post I wrote entitled: School Can Be Cruel – Kids learn quickly where they fit in and often experience teasing, bullying, and rejection for the first time. This can have a devastating effect. Kids will single out others who may not be athletic, dress differently, have a learning or physical special need, any number of differences in appearance, social status, or personalities. That’s when clicks begin to form. It’s hurtful when no one wants you on their team or you’re always the last one chosen. As if rejection wasn’t bad enough, they usually attach a label to you to go along with it that can possibly follow you through high school and beyond. Is it any wonder then that teen suicide and school shootings are on the increase as a result of kids feeling insignificant, that no one cares, and their lives don’t matter. Their misguided and often unguided search for significance has led many to a literal “Dead End”, and with parents waking up to the fact that they didn’t have a clue what was going on in their own kid’s lives.

Acceptance + Approval = Significance. Wherever and from whoever it comes from absolutely matters, be it from good or bad influences. Young person and teenager; if your acceptance and approval comes from the friends you hang with, the way you look and dress, how popular you are and the number of likes and followers you have on Facebook, Instagram or other social media, how tough and cool you look with that cigarette or vape in your hand, or the foul language that comes out of your mouth; then your search for significance will end in disappointment. Likewise, many adults find and base their significance in a job, accumulating wealth and possessions, a certain social status, a relationship, hobbies, their talents, and a host of other things they can do. Everyone enjoys being noticed and likes to hear and be given an “Atta-a-Boy” pat on the back, but that shouldn’t be the fuel that determines and drives your significance. That is a trap that so many people can be and are unknowingly caught and ensnared by. I should know, because lately I’ve given place to those thoughts.

I began my writing in 1985 starting with poems and  plays for church. I’ve written and preached numerous sermons. My wife and I often wrote our own material for children’s church which we did every Sunday for years. In 2014 I felt the Lord impressed me to start a blog and post my writings and thoughts online. It is my way of presenting the Gospel and Biblical truths that I have experienced in a way that people could relate to in their daily living. I named it, The Straight and Narrow Highway – Discovering Jesus in Everyday Life. I posted one blog that year and got twenty-six views and only one “Like” (from my daughter-in-law). For the next five years I wrote sporadically and only published eight blogs and received no “Likes”. In 2020 I wrote seven blogs, but it wasn’t until I retired in 2021 that I poured myself into what I felt God was calling me to do. To date I have written seventy-seven blog posts not including this one, and 2,792 people from 30 nations have visited my website with 4,380 views which have garnered only 38 all-time “Likes” and 5 comments. In hopes of expanding my audience and exposure, I started a Facebook page on a trial basis. I had hoped that more people would hear the Gospel message as I posted my writings, and as my so-called Facebook friends would share them. The results were dismal with few who even “Shared” or “Liked”. I deleted my Facebook after one year. I got tired of seeing all the insignificant stupid things people shared and liked. I added a “Subscribe To” option on my website where people could receive via e-mail my new posts as I published them. Eighteen people have signed up so far, and I say thank you to them. Lately, I have questioned whether my writings have had any significant impact on those who read my blogs, especially when I see other bloggers who have millions of followers and likes. I’ve honestly questioned myself wondering if I’m doing something wrong or perhaps people just aren’t interested in what I have to say. I’m sensing the trap of insignificance wanting to ensnare me, but I won’t let it.

I was born-again on September 30th, 1983, as a result of accepting Jesus Christ as my Savior and Lord, and I surrendered my life to him. As my Lord, he now owns me, and whatever significance small or great I may have once had doesn’t even compare to the significance I’ve found in knowing him personally. My significance isn’t based on what I can do, but who I am. I am a child of God. Jeremiah 9: 23 to 24a, Thus says the Lord: Let not the wise man glory in his wisdom, let not the mighty man glory in his might, nor let the rich man glory in his riches; but let him who glories glory in this, that he understands and knows me. As true children of God one way we know that He is our Father is when He takes us to the woodshed for a needed attitude adjustment (Heb 12:6-8). As a result of Him doing so, it has motivated me to write this particular blog and share what the Holy Spirit spoke to me. I believe there is a lesson to be heard and learned by all of us, especially those who claim Jesus as their Lord, no matter what your ministry or calling is.

If you indeed believe that I am your Lord, and that I have gifted and called you to write, why do you seek the approval of others. Is not my acceptance and approval enough? If you write what I give you, what does it matter what others think or like? Do you now desire the praise of men above my praise? All I require is that you faithfully obey and allow me to direct those to the website who need to hear my words. I am not concerned with numbers, but only with changed hearts and lives. Plant seeds and leave the gathering of fruit to me and to those I’ve called to that purpose.

As I meditate on those words, I think firstly about Jesus. He was secure in knowing He was the Son of God. He didn’t need the affirmation, acceptance, or approval of men to give Him significance. He knew what His purpose was and fulfilled it. At the age of twelve His parents had gone to Jerusalem with others to celebrate the Passover Feast. Upon leaving they had gone a day’s journey when they realized Jesus wasn’t with the group. Returning to Jerusalem they found Him after three days, teaching in the temple. Questioning Him He replied, ”Did you not know that I must be about My Father’s business?” (Luke 2:49) Many times the religious leaders confronted Him challenging His identity, but He didn’t waver, being confident in who He was and where He came from. Some secretly believed, but did not confess Him openly, being fearful of being put out of the synagogue, for they loved the praises of men more than the praise of God. (John 12:43) I also think of the Apostle Paul who wrote most of the New Testament being in prison or house arrest by the Romans. And what of Peter, James, Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John who was exiled to the island of Patmos. I’m sure they didn’t write to see how many “Likes” they could get, nor could they even fathom that what they wrote would affect people centuries later even to this day. They all fulfilled their purpose having first found their significance in Jesus Christ. How is your searching for significance going? Will you find both it and your purpose in Jesus? In the final analysis when everything is said and done and your life comes to an end, nothing else will matter.