By: Denny

Imagine for a moment that the people you know or have known are standing in a huge circle holding hands. Now place yourself in the middle of that circle. Slowly do a 360-degree pivot, and as you look at each person reflect on the interaction you’ve had with them. Automatically, your mind will begin to sort and categorize them. Some are just people you barely know except for the standard greeting of “Hi” as your paths intersect. Maybe it is a co-worker, another classmate, the mailman, the person who daily walks their dog down your sidewalk, or the neighbor who only gives you a wave from across the street or over the fence. It could be the one next to you on the airplane, bus, checkout lane, or even at church. Enemies may be too strong of a word, but there will be some who have hurt, betrayed, rejected, abused, shunned, ridiculed, teased, taken advantage of you, or just plain rub you the wrong way. The list goes on, but let’s just say they are people who you’d like to avoid or never see again. Maybe you’ve become bitter and are still holding a grudge or aren’t willing to forgive them for something they said or did unless they first apologize. I’ll bet some of them are your relatives or once close friends. Ouch! You kindly, or maybe not so much, ask them to step backwards out and away from the circle. The circle is now diminished as everyone moves forward to join hands and reconnect the circle. Does your circle decrease noticeably or not at all? If substantially, then “Houston, we have a problem here.” Pause and think about that for a minute. Anyway, out of those who remain, you continue to sift and sort out people according to the levels of relationships you’ve had with them. Some you tell to stay where they are while asking others to step forward and form another inner circle. From that circle you again ask some to step forward while others remain. With each step I’m sure you’re realizing each circle is getting smaller and smaller. It’s like when you throw a rock into a pond and it sends out circular ripples of waves that get bigger and bigger, only this is in reverse. Eventually, or sooner, you are down to a circle of people who you consider “good friends”. The number of people in that circle varies for everyone. There remains yet one circle to be filled which would be the “best of the best” and the “closest” of the good friends. Now, since this is my blog, I’m entitled to set the rules. Though you may want more, you can only have three friends in the next and last inner-most circle. Which ones will you choose? Without even knowing you here’s how you might decide: It won’t necessarily be someone you’ve known for a long time, but chances are it will be. It will be someone with like values and interests who you’ve bonded with through similar life experiences, worked towards a common goal, endured hardships, and celebrated victories together. It will be someone you could call anytime of the day or night knowing they’d be there for you, and who would call out of the blue just to ask how you’re doing. It can be a person you see often or perhaps they live far away. It’s the person when they send a card doesn’t just sign it but will include a personal note. If they live close, they’re the first to bring food or ask if you need anything when you’re home-bound. They don’t just say, “I’ll be thinking about you”, but will pray for you right then and there. It won’t be someone who borrows things and never returns them. It is someone who won’t tell others your faults and failures and will stop those who do so in your absence. They are someone you allow to speak into your life if they see you getting off track, and vice versa. It is the few people who you trust and confide in first and can share your deepest thoughts with. Ultimately, they would lay down their life for you and you would do the same for them. I suppose if I thought about it there would be more qualifications plus you could come up with a few of your own. This is only my opinion, but you should have one person or a married couple older than you. They’ve already walked the path of life longer and can offer wise advice. There are some people who are lifetime friends and remain in that inner circle while others may come and go for various reasons. Hopefully you were able to fill three slots or at least have one standing with you. Sadly, far too many will find themselves standing alone.

Jesus had multitudes of followers, especially when they saw the miracles He performed. Many witnessed what He did for others, hoping He’d do the same for them. Perhaps some were curious, still others followed Him after He had fed the 5,000 then the 4,000 wanting only to be fed again. Though many followed Jesus, He only had a few close friends. In today’s terminology, He didn’t accept every friend request He got on Facebook and Twitter. As it says in John 2: 23-24, many believed in His name when they saw the signs which He did, but Jesus did not commit to them, because He knew all men. Jesus hand-picked the twelve disciples, but there were many unnamed others who followed Him who were also referred to as disciples. Perhaps that was the distinction Jesus was making between the “called” and the “chosen” in Matthew 20:16. By comparison, Jesus never asked anyone to step back away from Him. Quite the opposite, He was always inviting people to come closer. It was His disciples who had adopted the “us four no more” mentality and thought it was their job to filter out all His contacts. They rebuked and tried to hinder children from coming to Him. Many times, they told Jesus to send people away. They told blind Bartimaeus to be quiet. They were amazed when they returned from buying food at a nearby village and found Jesus talking to a Samaritan woman. They probably thought, “That’s one we let slip past us.”  If anyone alienated themselves and walked away from Jesus it was by their own choice. With each parable told and each Kingdom principle or truth proclaimed, it was as if Jesus was drawing a line in the sand. You could either cross the line and continue following Him, or step backwards and “unfollow” Him. Many of His disciples and followers did just that because the truth spoken often offends those who don’t want to hear it. Jesus asked the twelve, “Do you also want to go away?” John 6:67 Peter replied, “Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life.” The twelve disciples walked with Jesus for three years and became His close friends. However, it was Peter, James, and John who were His closest friends. They were the ones He took with Him up the mountain to witness His transfiguration. All the disciples were present in the Garden of Gethsemane, but it was Peter, James, and John who He took with Him a little further on to pray. He then asked them to stay in a certain spot while He went on to pray alone. Likewise, it was John alone who stood at the cross as Jesus was crucified, because all the rest of His friends had deserted Him.

Enoch walked with God, Moses saw His glory, David was a man after God’s own heart, the prophets performed miracles, and many others were used of God in special ways. However, it is Abraham who is known as the friend of God. By faith he obeyed, and it was accounted to him as righteousness. Jesus sums up in one verse what it takes to be His friend. John 15:14 “You are my friends if you do whatever I command you.” James reiterates that in writing, “But be doers of the word and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves.” In other words, obey the whole word of God, not just bits and pieces of it. Picture in your mind an hourglass. The sand is in the top portion and represents all people. The bottom portion represents the friends of Jesus. The constricted middle between them is Jesus and obedience to His word through which all must pass. Those who have accepted Him as savior, confessed and repented of their sins pass freely. God accepts all who turn to Him by faith believing that Jesus atoned for their sins through His shed blood and death on the cross. He invites everyone into His inner-most circle, even those who you told to step backward from your circle at the beginning of this blog. Does it still bother and upset you because of what they said or did to you? What emotions stir within you when you think about it? Did they do it intentionally or did you just perceive it that way because you didn’t get something your way and your feelings got hurt? Jesus makes it very plain and clear in Matthew 6: 14-15 “For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. “But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses. Forgiving is an act of your will and obedience to God’s command, whether you feel like it or not. It doesn’t mean you have to make that person your friend, but you won’t be able to squeeze through the narrow hourglass and become a friend of Jesus if you continue to hold a grudge, unforgiveness, and bitterness. The ideal situation is that reconciliation would follow forgiveness. Reconciliation is defined as making peace between enemies. Many people only focus on the love part of the gospel. However, the heart of the gospel is God’s desire that we be reconciled to Him because sin has made us His enemy. Love is what motivated Jesus to lay down His life making that reconciliation possible by dying in our place. John 15: 13 “Greater love has no man than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends.”  If He did that for you, why is it so hard for you to forgive and be reconciled to someone else? Pause and think about that for a minute. You may say that you don’t believe all this Jesus stuff and could care less about being His friend. Everybody has a right to choose their friends and I sure wouldn’t want to deny you that privilege. However, he is one friend that will never leave you standing alone when all others desert you. Besides, do you really want to live your life stuck on the top side of an hourglass?