By: Denny

Lisa, our daughter-in-law, sent us a picture of Ava our three-year-old granddaughter’s first day of pre-preschool. There was no such thing in my generation. Formal education started with kindergarten at the age of five or six. Nowadays more mothers have been forced to work outside the home for various reasons, thereby necessitating the need for daycares and preschools. In many cases the extra money a mother earns barely offsets the fees charged. Sadly, it’s a “catch 22” for many families, but that’s beside the point and a bunny trail. Having six kids, I think it was a relief for mom when each of us started school. I was excited to go away from home, but mom was always there when I returned. She wanted to know how my day went, what I was learning, and if I had fun. If I had a bad day, she was there to console me. If I misbehaved, I didn’t want her to know, though she was sure to find out. Mothers talked to teachers back then, and there was that dreaded note you were expected to give to your parents. Schools taught the fundamentals which were required and age appropriate. Unlike today when little kids are taught and indoctrinated with things not fitting and way beyond their level of comprehension, but that’s yet another bunny trail. Ava looked so cute in her outfit with her lunch box and backpack from the movie “Frozen”. Lisa said another girl took her hand and Ava was chosen to be Line Leader. That’s a big deal when you’re a little kid. Being befriended and accepted goes a long way in calming your fears, especially on the first day of school. It’s crucial that parents instill godly values in their children and continually affirm their love for them way before that big day. They need to be rooted and grounded in self-esteem and confidence in who they are and know that their worth, value, and significance doesn’t come from what others say or think, because school can be cruel. These are the formative years that will influence their thinking as they walk life’s pathway. It doesn’t take long before a “pecking order” begins to take shape, and much of that starts on the playground. Kids learn quickly where they fit in and often experience teasing, bullying, and rejection for the first time. This can have a devastating effect. Kids will single out others who may not be athletic, dress different, have a learning or physical special need, any number of differences in appearance, social status, or personalities. That’s when clicks begin to form. It’s hurtful when no one wants you on their team or you’re always the last one chosen. As if rejection wasn’t bad enough, they usually attach a label to you to go along with it that can possibly follow you through high school and beyond. If you doubt what I’m saying, then you’ve never been to a class reunion. I’m writing this from my perspective, personal observations, and experiences growing up. Obviously, things have changed over the years and sadly not for the better. Lucy has worked in the public schools for nearly twelve years, and I just shake my head in disbelief at what she tells me goes on there unchecked. Living with rejection is painful because of the feelings of discouragement, hopelessness, and victimization attached to it. Suicide among teens has increased as many see that as a way out of their suffering. It is neither normal nor healthy for a child to keep to themselves. There is a reason behind it which should send up red flags to both teachers and parents. If not investigated, you may be unknowingly cultivating a future school shooter. That’s a phrase that wasn’t even in anyone’s vocabulary when I was a kid. Of course, the politically correct and socially accepted thing these days is to blame it on guns, and some with that viewpoint may reject me. Whatever, but if you choose to go down that bunny trail, I’m not following.

Rejection takes on many forms and for various reasons, because life is like a cruel school playground. You may feel rejection if overlooked for the promotion you worked so hard for and deserved, but they gave it to someone else. You applied for a job, but they said you didn’t meet their qualifications. You asked a popular girl to the homecoming dance, and she turned you down. You are a door-to-door salesman and all you get are “no thanks” or slammed doors. You’re a good waitress but notice that the prettier girls get more tips. Something happened and now a relationship is severed and your once close friend or relative hasn’t spoken to you in years. Your spouse left you for someone else. Perhaps you planned an event and sent out invitations and nobody showed up as in Luke 14:16-19. People who feel rejected can often adopt a sense that there is something inherently wrong with them, but that’s not true. As I mentioned, many who experience rejection see themselves as victims. I also think nothing could be further from the truth. Often those who do the rejecting have a bigger problem. They are insecure, motivated by their needing to be in control, driven by their self-centeredness, and immersed in pride. 

Jesus was and is no stranger to rejection. Nearly 700 years before His birth Isaiah prophesied that He would be despised and rejected. (Isaiah 53:3) As Jesus began His earthly ministry of teaching and proclaiming truths of the Kingdom of God, many rejected Him. They only saw Him as the son of Joseph and Mary. Even His brothers, sisters, and the people in the town where He grew up doubted His claims to be the Son of God. Many people believed that Jesus was the Messiah because of the many miracles He performed and the words He spoke. Crowds followed Him everywhere. The Pharisees were enraged as they saw that their power over people was being threatened. They had become guided by traditions and religious rules of their own making, and Jesus called them out for their hypocrisy. The Pharisees and religious leaders not only rejected Him but sought to kill Him. Jesus wasn’t the least bit intimidated or distracted from His purpose by their name calling and bullying tactics, because He was firm in His identity as God’s son. At every turn He put them to shame by the words of truth He spoke, and they were left dumbfounded and silenced. I think that Jesus gives us the perfect example of how to deal with rejection. The Bible says that He often went to a secluded place away from everyone to pray. As a man the physical demands of ministering to the masses must have been tiring to say the least and He needed a break from it to rest. I also think He needed to be refreshed in the presence of His heavenly father. There is much that can be said about being in the presence of God that brings peace, security, comfort, joy, strength, emotional healing, confidence in who you are, and His unconditional love and acceptance. Your life’s purpose becomes clearer and the rejection from people pales in comparison to knowing Him. For the person who is wholly committed to the Lord and their lives show it, rejection should be expected and come as no surprise. Jesus said His true followers would be treated the same way they treated Him. Luke 10:16 “He who hears you hears Me, he who rejects you rejects Me, and he who rejects Me rejects Him who sent Me.”

In my opinion there are two types of rejection: aggressive and passive. I think everyone knows aggressive rejection and has felt it at some point. Passive rejection on the other is harder to recognize or often interpreted as something else. The Bible gives reference to Jesus weeping two times. The first is the account of Jesus’s triumphal entry into Jerusalem which we celebrate as Palm Sunday and found in Luke 19:41-44. There was much excitement and fanfare as the multitudes rejoiced. In just a few short hours many of the same people would call for His crucifixion. Now that’s aggressive rejection. As Jesus drew near the city, He wept over it because many were caught up in the moment and wanted to see Him because of the miracles He performed. Others didn’t truly believe in Him and were not aware of the prophecies concerning Him that were coming to pass right before their eyes. Jesus spoke about the coming destruction of Jerusalem and caps it off by saying, “You did not know the time of your visitation.”  Ignorance and unbelief lead to passive rejection as Jesus declared, “The stone which the builders rejected has become the chief cornerstone.” The second time Jesus wept was recorded in John 11 with the account of the death of Lazarus. Lazarus along with his two sisters Mary and Martha were close friends of Jesus who lived in Bethany. Upon hearing of Lazarus dying, Jesus seems unconcerned and stays in the place he was for two more days. Afterwards he tells his disciples, “Let us go.” When He arrived in Bethany two days later, Lazarus was already in the tomb. Both Mary and Martha tell Jesus in tears that if only He had been there, their brother wouldn’t have died. There were many others present and everyone was crying. Some said, “Could not this man who opened the eyes of the blind, also have kept this man from dying?” Verse 33 says that Jesus groaned in the spirit and was troubled and wept. Jesus knew He was going to raise Lazarus from the dead before He even left for Bethany, so He wasn’t crying out of grief. He wept because of their unbelief, which in a sense was passive rejection.

I think if Jesus weeps today, it would be over those who through unbelief are rejecting Him and the sacrifice of Himself on the cross that He accomplished for them. He not only offers forgiveness of sins, but the promise of eternal life. In this life you may experience rejection, pain, and suffering. Don’t let that keep you from coming to Jesus who not only knows what you’re going through but can raise you out of that grave of rejection and give you new life.