By: Denny

The year was 1965 and I was in 7th grade. I was looking forward to Friday night, because it was to be my first school dance. I had a crush on a girl named Susan, and we had planned on dancing together. She was about the prettiest girl I’d ever seen up until then. She had shoulder length blonde hair, blue eyes, and a smile that would melt an ice cream cone before you got the first lick in. She always used a special perfume which lingered in my senses all day. That night she wore a pink mohair sweater and a light blue dress. Most of the guys were just sitting around on the sidelines too shy to ask a girl to dance, so I wasn’t worried about them cutting in on me. The girls were either dancing with each other or waiting to be asked by a boy. The chaperones were two women teachers; a Math teacher and an English teacher. The English teacher was a strict old bitty which none of us kids liked. It was during a break, while a bunch of us were enjoying refreshments, that the English teacher came toward us escorting Karen. She looked straight at me and told me to dance with Karen. Karen was probably the smartest girl in 7th grade. The term “geek” hadn’t been invented yet, but she was one. She had short red hair, freckles, and wore horn rimmed glasses. Although it had never been proven, she could’ve stopped a freight train dead in its tracks. Maybe that’s an exaggeration, but you get the picture. Anyway, I told the teacher I didn’t want to dance with her and that she should force one of the other guys who were just standing around doing nothing. Fast forward to Monday. I was in Math class when the teacher told me to follow her to the office. When we got there the English teacher was also there with Karen. I don’t remember the exact words spoken in that lecture session, but they made me apologize and say I was sorry to Karen for not dancing with her. I’m sure those two teachers felt justified in that they had righted some terrible wrong, but I wasn’t sorry. When I told my dad what happened, he almost went to school to give those teachers the “what for”. I’ll never forget what he told me; “Don’t ever let anyone force you to apologize for anything you’re not sorry for unless you honestly mean it, and don’t ever be sorry for doing the right thing.” Then came the day in English class not long thereafter when she was teaching us vocabulary. The word was retaliation. After explaining the meaning (to return like for like; to get revenge), she asked Robert to put his hands on the top of his desk. Upon doing so she promptly hit them with a ruler, put her hands on his desk and said, “Robert, retaliate.” Robert shirked back and did nothing. She went to a girl and did the same with no response from her either. Alas for her, she made the fateful mistake of coming to my desk. I don’t remember the ruler hurting, but I’m sure she didn’t forget my fist coming down on her hand. Her only reply was that I understood the meaning of the word “retaliate” and walked away. I wasn’t sorry for doing the right thing.

There were six kids in our family, and we were taught right from wrong growing up. Sometimes the wrong was enforced by the sting of a belt or mom’s infamous slap box. (don’t ask) If you weren’t truly sorry before, you would be afterwards. Sadly today, many people believe there are no absolutes, therefore in their minds there isn’t any right, wrong, or need to be or say, “I’m sorry”. It’s like it says in Judges 21:25 “everyone did what was right in their own eyes.” I guess we’ve all done or said wrong things that at the time we felt were right. Emotions caused us to react without considering the effect it would have on others. Saying, “I’m sorry, I was wrong”, is hard for some people to do, because they are too prideful to admit it. There are some situations where you can apologize for someone else’s actions. For instance, a parent may apologize for a young child’s misbehavior up to a certain age, after that they are accountable for their own actions. Many parents will make their kids say they’re sorry but fail to teach them good morals and explain why they should be sorry. A forced apology is no apology because it doesn’t originate from the heart, and it usually doesn’t result in a lasting change of behavior. This is what is called worldly sorrow in 2 Corinthians 7:8-10. King Saul was a perfect example. He disobeyed the Lord and the prophet Samuel called him out for it. Right away the king started making excuses but was sorrier that he got caught. On the other hand, godly sorrow produces repentance leading to salvation. For instance, when Peter three times denied that he knew Jesus, he later wept bitterly with godly sorrow for so doing. We can have a conversation about right and wrong, but the Bible cuts to the chase and calls it what it is with words like: good and evil, sin, sorrow, reconciliation, repentance, and restoration.

There is so much outcry today for this generation to apologize and make amends for the generation that brought slavery to this nation. I agree it was wrong, but how does my apology make things right or change what was done hundreds of years ago? It’s all symbolism with no substance. The Bible says in Ezekiel 18:20, “The son shall not bear the guilt of the father, nor the father the guilt of the son.” All these people who are rioting want to make us guilty and pay for the sins of the past or a policeman’s actions, yet they don’t apologize or feel sorry for their current sinfulness. They shout for justice but have taken matters into their own hands outside of the law. They seek vengeance and retaliation and put themselves in the place of God who alone reserves that right for himself. Romans 12:19 “Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,” says the Lord. God doesn’t right every wrong the instant it happens, but there is coming a time that He will. Someday everyone will stand before him and must give an account for the things they did in this life. For those who have repented of their sins with godly sorrow, accepted Jesus Christ as their savior and received His salvation and forgiveness; there will be much joy. There will also be much sorrow expressed by those who rejected God, thought just being a good person was enough to get by, or that He didn’t take notice of their evil ways. Jesus said on that day there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth. Saying you’re sorry then will be too late.

Perhaps as you’ve read this a situation or event that happened in your life comes to mind. Things were said or done by you or another that caused hurt, separation, unforgiveness and bitterness. Maybe you did say you were sorry, but it wasn’t received, and the other person still holds a grudge. If the person who wronged you has died, forgive them and move on. Maybe you’re the one who needs to let go of your pride and “Say You’re Sorry”.

PS – I’m not sorry if this offends you because it’s the truth